This hoax appears to have been written as a joke, sending up the tone of
other virus hoaxes. However, some users are still concerned by the message and
we recommend you do not forward it to friends and colleagues.
The text of the hoax reads as follows:
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do
not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within
20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM
access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone
auto dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close
to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it
will also refill your Skim milk with whole milk.
******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard
that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending
sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send to everyone.